04.May.21


Now, you listen to me you thrawn, little misfit. If I told you once, I told you a baker’s dozen’s of times: Dogs sniff derrières for identification and greeting purposes, but you are not a dog and I especially am not a dog and we are already familiar with each other’s existences, so stop stealing my undies and baptising yourself with them as some sort of cheeky chrisom in your weird, post-brekkie, morning rituals. And, stop passing that look of innocence at me too. What? You think just because Linnaeus classifies you as some lesser primate, that I will succumb to accepting your antics as some sort of ‘natural’ process both attributed to and appropriate for your kind? No. No, I will not acquiesce. Your attempts to convince me with your silent, stoic stare of the Jedi—I am not buying it—ever. Look, I expect you to monkey around because, well, you are a monkey. And, you are around. But, there will be consequences to hijinks that involves my wear being placed any where other than my rear. And, I will say it. Do not think I will not. I fear no euphemisms! Yes, sir: If you do not curb the crazy in your curiosity, I *will* spank you—and feel quite alright about it—my mischievous monkey-mate! ; )

Categories: Melange

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