The hey is that in your arms? And, what is with your effusive glee? You should only be wearing a solemn affect when you bring food to me.

A Scottish Fold? Why on earth would I want a friend? I am a cat. Throw it the washer for all I care; just bring a milk-filled saucer to my mat.

Meow you are crossing the line missy! How dare you feed it first! I am going to break both that munchkin and the mutchkin quenching it’s thirst!

Look, Egyptians worshipped my kind as gods and you will honour me the same way. But, your religion will be monotheistic, so get ready to pray.

“Beloved kit blessed with charming disposition and snowy fur, I will attend to your terrene needs before anyone else’s—including my own. Upon receipt of any acrimonious purr, I will procure for you a richest cow, even if I must take a danfo to remote fields in order to atone.”

And, do not forget to return that furry potato-tot. Also, wash your hands afterwards—a lot, a lot. ; )