Could you please snap the photo stat so that we can remove ourselves from each other’s company?

This punishment is a bit too much. Proximity to sworn enemy causes angst, but, asking us to smile for–what on earth happened to your hair??? We were not supposed to eat those? Really? Hmmm. Papillotes are quite yum, though, did you not know?

I am sorry, but you do not get to decide how we emote for your memory-preservation machine. Impress us by fixing those frightening locks and we will consider an expression fit for a queen.

If you believe that we will learn to enjoy this closeness, you are quite misguided. And, there are no algedonic elements involved in this set-up either.

Now, please place us back on the ground instead of holding us up in this space where we do not belong–we are pets, not planets. You may continue to convince yourself that you see peace in the yin and yang of our coats’ mares, but please be sure you look, afterwards, at our faces and their intensely irritated and bewildered stares. ; )