Thank you for the hug, dearest person who feeds me kibble and coos at me when I am not really doing much that would be considered extraordinary. Please do not look out the window during our embrace for that would give you view of what once was your garden, the one between the back porch and the spruit by which you enjoy reading your how-to-vegetable books. You see, unbeknownst to you, I slayed my fifth [played with] evil dragon [adorable bunny] today and there was some collateral damage [your garden was destroyed], but all is not lost because I found some earthworms and bugs in the battlefield and I know you hate creepy crawlies, so I ate them for you so that you would not encounter them. I have since regurgitated them in that basket where you keep your underclothes. Last time you called me ‘bad’, you made me sleep on a towel in the garage. I want you to know that my bunny friend has taught me how to run at superluminal speed, so as long as you place me back on the floor before looking out the window that allows no view worth seeing at the moment, I will not be sleeping in the garage again. Also, let it be known that even though quot homines tot sententiae regarding which breed of my kind is the best, please keep in mind that I am shaped perfectly for complementing that space between your upper thighs when you are in sitting position and that I am the perfect length, when you are standing position, to sit up supported in your arms and give your face lick-kisses of love. Oh, and, remember, I am now faster than a warp-speed Millenium Falcon. Case closed. ; )

Categories: Melange

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